


I aLwAyS KnEw

by Captor_Chandelure



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Almost cried there..., Death, Fluff, I don't know if it counts as Fluff..., M/M, MSPARP, Meh still tagging it as fluff, Sadstuck, fluff?, so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 19:43:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3262100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captor_Chandelure/pseuds/Captor_Chandelure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an AU where Tavros doesn't go off to kill Vriska, he finds himself up against his best friend, flush crush and future tormentor....</p><p>**Based on a MSPARP I had yesterday with a Sober Gamzee**</p>
            </blockquote>





	I aLwAyS KnEw

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All the GamTav shippers](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=All+the+GamTav+shippers), [That Gamzee I role-played with (Jepper)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=That+Gamzee+I+role-played+with+%28Jepper%29).



> Some comments might be a little OOC.

The hallways were peaceful, plunged in a silence, broken by the sounds of the bronze blood's steps. It was really quiet....

 _Too quiet_ , thought Tavros.  _Way too quiet._

He had read what Vriska has done in their last conversation,mdeliberately created Bec Noir, thus dooming their lives. But that was already done, and there is nothing Tavros could do about it. The temptation to make her pay was huge, but killing her won't help anything... Nor would it change anything. So Tavros decided to go for a nice stroll in the meteor he has stuck in. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't realise where he was going, which happened to be in the depths of the meteor.

A horn sound made him jump in surprise, before realising that before him, stood the coolest troll in the world, as well as the handsomest. Gamzee Makara.

 

"Oh... Uh, hey Gamzee!" 

"Hello brother" greeted the taller troll.

 

Suddenly, it hit him. Gamzee was different from the last time Tavros talked to him, which was a few hours ago. He didn't have his signature dopey smile. His eyes weren't half closed from all the sopor pies he'd eat... Now that Tavros recalled, Gamzee did mention having no more sopor when they talked a few hours ago. The most important thing that changed though were the scars. Gamzee had his face cut through by three long purple scars. And that sweet thought was probably scarier than the Capricorn wanted it to sound... Or so, Tavros thought.

 

"I SEE YOU'RE UP AND WALKIN AGAIN". The sudden scream made Tavros jump with surprise. 

"Oh, that? Uh, yeah! Equius built these for me.... But, uh... are you alright? You have those, uh, scars... Across your face, that is.." Tavros said nervously. Something seemed odd about Gamzee... Actually, everything was completely different in him. From the way she smiled, to the way he talks... Even the way he looks and acts! As if the only trace of Gamzee left in the troll in front of the Taurus was his clothes. That single thought scared the small troll much more than it should have at first glance, but much less than when he'll see what actually happened.

 

"What are you talking about, bro? I feel motherfuckin fine..." Again with the sweet voice. Something deep inside Tavros told him to run. To escape the purple blood. To save himself. But Tavros hushed the voices. This is Gamzee! He couldn't even hurt the imps during the game! Well, Tavros had to admit, that single shot Gamzee did on the Black King was terrifyingly strong, the strongest, with the possible exception of Vriska, but still. 

"BETTER THAN I'VE FELT IN A LOONG TIME, BROTHER" Nearly screaming again. Suddenly, the voices telling him to run became slightly more appealing, but still not enough to actually do it. 

"Well, uh, I guess that's good..." Tavros replied. 

"Now I know who I am and who I am meant to be.... WHAT I WAS MOTHERFUCKING MEANT FOR... ALL ALONG." Tavros felt his bloodpusher race as his flush crush screamed those words. And it was definitely not from pity or love.

"T-that's, uh... Great too! And... Uh, what would that, uh, be?" Honestly, Tavros was scared of the answer. He was scared of Gamzee. His senses were fighting over whether to run from a possible threat or to stay with your flush crush and try to enjoy his company... The latter, while being extremely hard, was the one he thought was better.

"It's not really bad... Actually, if feels... MOTHERFUCKING NATURAL, BROTHER"

"Well, uh, if it's what you're, uh, meant to be, then it should, uh, feel natural... So, uh, who are you meant to be?"

"The motherfucker that's higher than all you motherfuckers" He simply says with a grin. A really scary grin.

".... W-what?" Gamzee never cares about the Hemospectrum! He's barely even aware that it exists! 

Tavros realised Gamzee was slowly approaching him as he talked. Tavros' eyes widened as he slowly took step backwards, ready to run for his life. The Capricorn yelled again.

"AND NOW IT'S TIME THAT I SHOW IT LIKE I SHOULD HAVE SWEEPS AGO! So, what do you say, bro?"

"G-gamzee... Y-you're scaring me..." Tavros was scared. Horrified. Startled. Insert another synonym of scared here. 

"WANT TO HELP ALL UP AND PAINT SOME MOTHERFUCKIN WALLS?" His grin became creepier, hungrier,  _deadlier._ The lowblood was starting to shake.

"Uh... S-sure but, uh, you don't seem to, uh, have any paint with you...." The purple blood started laughing. A mischievous, dark laughter.

"You don't happen to have some BROWN WITH YOU? Or rather... IN YOU?!" The tall troll's eyes shined in a scary, crazy way.

 

Tavros understood what he didn't want to understand. Without a second thought, he ran away from his friend, or whoever that was that replaced his friend. He ran, while the dark frightening laughter of his flush crush was haunting him, and the said flush crush walking after him. 

"YOU'RE BEING MOTHERFUCKING GREEDY, TAVBRO. COME BACK!" 

"L-leave me alone!" 

Tavros ran as fast as he could on his robotic legs. He could hear Gamzee ramble... a poem?

 

"First came the horse... Then came the cat... NOW I NEED THE BULL TO FINISH THIS RAP. I'll paint the walls, with a rainbow of blood..."

"Stop it, Gamzee! This is, uh, nothing like you!" Tavros wanted to cry. He wanted to be in Gamzee's arms. With  _his_ Gamzee. Not with that impostor!

Gamzee's poetry stopped, as Tavros could see a dead end approach. 

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME!?" The highblood snarled. 

The brown blood reached the dead end, slowly turning to face Gamzee, while also taking out his lance. "O-oh gog...." His face was pale, while Gamzee's looked darker than usual.

"NOBODY MOTHERFUCKIN UNDERSTANDS WHAT GOES ON IN HIS THINKPAN, NOBODY CARED. And there ain't anything that kills more fun than a sad clown..."

"B-but... You weren't sad!"

"THAT'S THE MIRACLE OF PAINTED SMILES, BROTHER."

"You... You were faking it all along?!"

"But I guess, if y'all were laughin, the sad clown could pretend he was happy... THEN HE FOUND OUT THEY WERE ALL UP AN LAUGHIN AT HIM" 

"W-what?! I would never!"

"Don't think I didn't see it, brother..."

"You are my friend! W-why would I laugh at you?!" Tears started appearing in the corner of the Nitram's eyes. Shining like pearls with the small amount of light that was increasing the Makara's frightening posture. 

"YOU HAD A PAINTED SMILE THEN TOO, BROTHER"

"N-no! I was, uh, happy because I thought you were!"

"Behind it was your shame of being friend with the 'high as the motherfuckin sky juggalo'"

"N-no! I would, uh, never say that and you, uh, know it!" Tavros didn't if he felt scared, betrayed, sad or all of them at once. Probably all of them. "You made me confident! I, uh, was always better when you were around!" His tears were now streaming down his face, leaving a brownish transparent path.

"YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING LYING" The words hurt him. They hurt him a lot.

"I would never lie to you!"  _Because you're my flush crush!_ The last line couldn't leave his mouth, and the words died in his throat

"I was a motherfuckin dead weight and you know it."

"You were a friend and still are! I know the Gamzee I like is still there!"  _The Gamzee I love. The Gamzee I pity._

"GAMZEE IS DEAD". Tavros' eyes widened as the words reached his ears, his tears intensified, to the point that the bronze blood couldn't see clearly. "I killed him."

"N-no.... He wouldn't leave me... He can't...."

"STABBED HIM IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN BLOODPUSHER AND TWISTED THE MOTHERFUCKIN KNIFE"

"N-no! He can't die! Not like this!"  _Heroes can't lose!_

Gamzee started reducing the distance between the shaking troll and himself, saddened by the fact that this precious motherfucker didn't get that he was liking an actor. A puppet. A mask.

"HE WAS NEVER ALIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE"

"He's... Not... Dead..." Tavros was broken emotionally. But that didn't stop him from pointing his weapon at the clown troll. "He..." Tavros couldn't finish his sentence. He just watched Gamzee getting closer every second, holding his lance firmly but with shaky hands.

"He's what?" The other troll asked. But Tavros stayed silent.  _This is not my Gamzee... He's a liar.... He's not telling the truth...._ Tavros began hiccuping occasionally. This was too much pain... "HE'S WHAT, MOTHERFUCKER?!"

"He's.... Still here..." Tavros wiped his tears, but continued crying, and held his lance more confidently. "I know it!"

Gamzee shook his head, still walking towards Tavros. "Shush, motherfucker" He said in a calming tone.

"Only he is allowed to, uh, call me like hat with, uh, this tone!" Gamzee didn't stop. He didn't twitch. He just kept walking. "D-don't come closer!" Gamzee was still coming. "S-STOP!" Gamzee came even faster now. "I SAID STOP!!!"

And Gamzee stopped. He stopped when the point of Tavros' lance was poking at his shirt. 

"YOU KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE"

"I...." Tavros didn't move. What was going on?! Gamze wanted to die?!

"Do it, motherfucker. MOTHERFUCKIN END IT"

"I... I can't... I can't kill you Gamzee! You're.... You're my friend!"  _You're my flush_ _crush!_

Gamzee walked forward, trying to force the lance into him, but Tavros made a step backwards, until his back met the wall. "DON'T! PLEASE!

"IT'S TOO LATE, BRO. YOU'VE GOT TO END IT." The sane part of Gamzee was screaming inside. He was pleading Tavros to end it. And some of it managed to come outside.

"I CAN'T END IT!" Tavros was crying, brown tears quickly staining his clothes. "I CAN'T KIL YOU!! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING IF YOU'RE NOT HERE!!"

"Bro..."  _That voice..._ Tavros blinked and looked at Gamzee. His face was a battlefield between two selves that were fighting for control. But he was here.

"G... Gamzee?" 

"You've got to stop me..."

"I CAN'T! YOU KNOW IT CAN'T" 

"I don't know anything anymore... But what I'm sure of... Is that you're braver than you think." Tears wouldn't stop. His bloodpusher ached from all of this. Slowly, the lance poked back at Gamzee's chest.

"I'll... Do it." He didn't want to. But Gamzee was pleading for it. Gamzee was scared to hurt him. " For... For you... For me... And for everyone... I'm sorry..." The lance went through the taller troll's bloodpusher, appearing at his back, leaking with purple blood. Tavros didn't even let him reach the floor, as he already wrapped the impaled troll in his hands, crying uncontrollably. "I hope... That you're proud of me...

"B-bro..." Gamzee was smiling. It wasn't a grin. It was a smile. A real one. His hand slowly reached for Tavros' cheek, patting it. "I always was..."

"... Flushed for you...."

The highblood's weak laugh reached Tavros' ears. " I... always... knew you... were"

"See you in the dream bubbles, then..." He was still crying.

"I... Always... Knew.." His hand fell, his eyes closed, and his smile stayed the dopey signature smile of his...

 

And through the whole building, the trolls still alive could hear the lowblood's cry for the loss of his matesprit.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god.... I cried when I role played this, and I cried when I wrote this....


End file.
